


Rag & Bone

by esteefee



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Earth, Alternate Universe - Retail, Clothing Porn, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14283861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: “Clothing Store AU? John’s slouching around wearing black on black and Rodney comes in needing some nice clothes for a date he’s sure is going to go terribly.”  (prompt byPunk)





	Rag & Bone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Punk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fair Trade](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3979) by [esteefee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee). 



> Went riding by the Fair Trade café today and discovered it had been turned into a clothing store! :\ Which led to [Punk's prompt on tumblr](https://esteefee.tumblr.com/post/172818131612/esteefee-tfw-your-au-coffee-shop-turns-into-a) in the summary.

* * *

“Rag and Bone? Seriously?” the grouchy, sweaty guy said with a flail of arms as he walked through the door, interrupting John just as he finished hanging the latest arrivals. He gave the suede a jealous pat and then gave Grouchy his attention.

“Yup. Problem?” John leaned back against the counter.

“It’s a stupid name.” Grouchy scowled and strode past John, making a beeline toward the suits and showing off a very fine ass on his way.

“I’ll be sure to mention it to the owner,” John said earnestly.

Grouchy stutter-stepped and leveled a glare at John that could burn toast. “I’m in a little bit of a hurry, so if you could drag yourself away from contemplating your navel and give me some customer service here, there’s a fat commission in it for you.”

John smirked. “That’d be great, if we worked for commissions. Owner thinks they’re designed to abuse the working class.”

“Oh, _does_ he.”

“She, actually.”

Grouchy gave a sniff. “Good for her. It’s difficult enough starting your own business. I should know.”

“Yeah.” John smiled more warmly. “Anyway, I’d be happy to help you find whatever you need,” he said, pushing himself away from the counter and walking over. “I’m John.”

“John.” Grouchy looked him up and down. John wet his lower lip and watched, amused, when Grouchy’s eyes went gratifyingly wide. “The name’s Rodney. Rodney McKay, double PhD.”

John raised an eyebrow. “One wasn’t enough?”

McKay shrugged. “I got bored with astrophysics and went back to school.”

What a character. “Well, what can I do for you today, Rodney?”

“Oh! Oh, my God, the time.” McKay looked at his watch. “I need a blazer. Something that will make me look amazingly hot. I’m going on a date in an hour. My coworker set me up, and I’ll be a laughing stock if I don’t wow his friend. I have to knock this guy’s socks off—”

“Just chill, pal. We’ll get you set up; don’t worry. Ronon, our designer—his stuff is the best. You’ll look fantastic.”

“You say that now, but you have no idea how awful clothes look on me. They look better on a hanger,” Rodney moaned.

“With an ass like that? I don’t think so.”

Rodney blinked, his cheeks pinking up. John grinned.

“Come on; we just got these suede blazers in. We’ll put you in a cashmere sweater and the guy won’t be able to keep his hands off you.” If there were a mournful tone to John’s voice, it wasn’t his fault. McKay’s ass was just his type. And Rodney got bonus points for cranky and smart.

John guided Rodney over to the suede blazers, finding him one in deep navy that brought out his eyes perfectly. After he’d changed into the dark gray silk cashmere sweater with rippled texture and he'd thrown on the blazer, well… 

“That’s, um. Working for you,” John said, as Rodney stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes reflecting his amazement.

He turned to face John. “I realize this is somewhat hasty and probably ridiculous and offensive, you being in the service industry, so feel free to say no, absolutely not—I’m buying these anyway—but maybe you’re free tonight, instead?”

“What?”

McKay’s face twisted up, his mouth slanting horribly just as John’s brain finally processed the word salad. 

“Oh! The—your date. You want to _me_ to fondle up your cashmere instead,” John said, his face burning up. “Wow. Sure, yeah, okay.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but his face was totally just as red. He petted his own arm and said, “You may be dressed like some delinquent goth hipster, but you’re about as smooth as a dill pickle.” Pulling the tags from his sleeves, he handed them to John before turning back toward the dressing room. 

“Did you just say ‘pickle?’” John leered.

“Oh, my God.” Rodney closed the door, so his voice was muffled. “Please. Go ring me up. I have to cancel on my date.”

John went to the register grinning to beat the band. He couldn’t wait to tell Teyla.

Best commission ever.

 

………………………..  
April 10, 2018  
San Francisco, CA


End file.
